Words. Lack of. Lack of words

28 Jul

Twisted letters. Words. They form. They      jump. Spring even, they spring! Springing out, arcs of sound. Waves of words, nay not words even, sentences spring, sentences gallop. Sentences! By golly! Confidence soars, smile big. Talking! I’m talking. Talking charges through my body. It’s electricity. I smile, I joke, I smile. Girl, black dress, blonde hair. Look. Look noticed, ahh shit. She comes. She smiles. She talks. Collar sweat. Tight throat. Brain screams ‘reply, reply, reply.’ No. Talking gone, sentences gone, words gone.

A breath, a smile, a word. ‘Hey.’  More words. More. O Jitter jittery. O jitter jittery. Words crumble! Vowels stumble, consonants tumble. Panic. Face red, eyes down. Letters twisting, twusting, twasting. All words forgotten now. Nonsense mumble. Mumble nonsense. A word. ‘Bye’

Moving. Have to get away. Toilet. Mirror. Why? Words fail me, sentences fail me. Thoughts do not. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

I try, I fail. I go.

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