Look, if you’ve got a problem with me following you then just say something! Or kiss me?

4 Sep


So I’ve noticed recently that you keep on trying to catch glances of me. It’s getting a bit freaky to be honest, are you obsessed or something? I’m playing it cool, keeping a fair distance between us. You know, not close, but close enough to see your fragile wrists. With my binoculars.

I must say you looked stunning today. Stunning. As I watched you, it sunk in how beautiful you really are. As it always does. Your smile, your neck, your walk. You walk so gracefully. Do you know that? You do, honestly you do. You get so cute when you get panicky, your walk becomes so funny. You look like a stumbling(beautiful) clown! Like remember about 10 months ago when you were coming home from Weatherspoons? You were wearing that short black skirt with braces type thing, and you heard me following across the field. You got panicky, started trying to run and fell over. You are so amazing. Your amazing. Amazing. BUT sometimes you hurt me. Sometimes you ruin what we have, you hurt me and I feel I should hurt you. Cut out your heart like you’ve cut out mine. You know what I’m talking about. I’ve seen you. You’ve been with other people, you haven’t been pure for me. You’ve cheated on me with four people. Four people in two years! Don’t think I don’t know that you did it with two of these many, many times. Each time hammering a nail into my heart, as I watched you with them and not with me. Standing on your garage, peering through your window, watching, watching, watching. Dying, dying, dying. They don’t love you how I do. They don’t. I love you. I love you. I love you. It felt like being ripped in half the time you had sex with that boy (who’s since drowned) in Cedars Park. I know it wasn’t your fault. He took advantage of you, you were drunk, you would never do that otherwise. I knew that. He should have known that, he got what was coming to him. I saved you from him, he was trying to drag you down. I couldn’t let that happen, I had to strike first and drag him down. Drag him down into the reservoir, to drown him like alcohol drowned you into making that mistake. I did this for you, I saved you. People like that are bad for you, you need people like me in your life. People who care, people who love you. Me.

Do you know that its over two years since we met? We were on the same bus, you sat in front of me. You had your Miss Sixty jeans on with that yellow top from Primark and you were wearing Dior addict perfume, you smelt like heaven. You always do. And then your voice, ah your voice! From the moment I heard it I knew that we would be together forever. I followed you home that night and I knew. I knew that I would love you forever and you would love me forever. Because that’s what this is, it’s forever. You and I.

I know that the mistakes you’ve made are just mistakes and that I don’t need to hurt you. But I do need you to love me. Instead of running away all panicked why don’t you come and speak to me? Get to know my name, get to know who I am. It’s not that much to ask to get to know your soul mate. That’s what we are, we’re soul mates. There is no happiness if we’re not together, there is no oxygen if we’re not together, there is no future if we’re not together. I love you. Forever and ever. I love you.

ps. I’ll see you tomorrow after your aerobics class.

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