I’d probably vote for Ed Miliband if he didn’t speak like he had a mouth full of semen.

27 Sep

If it's not a mouthful of semen, it's a finger in the arse.

I like Ed Miliband. I do, he seems like a genuinely nice guy. But a future leader of this country? No. No. No. I don’t even necessarily think that he’d do ‘that bad a job,’ its just that I’d find it embarrassing that he was ‘our representative’ to the world. The face of our country.

It’s nothing to do with his looks, I’m not being shallow and saying ‘that ugly bastard can’t represent our country.’ No, far from it. I’m sure we can all agree that Gordon Brown was rather an ugly fucker, but I didn’t mind him being the face of our country. He radiated strength and had a ‘don’t fuck with me’ aura about him. The same applies with Tony Blair, I didn’t mind him at all. He was a brilliant speaker and appeared a very intelligent and reasoned man. He made our country look good.

BUT with Ed Miliband, he could give a fantastic rousing speech and portray himself as this really great guy who really cares for this country, yet it still doesn’t take away from the fact that he looks like he has a mouthful of semen when he speaks. It’s not even me exaggerating, he really does. Now I’ve heard him compared to one of the muppets and I think that’s a fitting description… if the muppet in question had just been face raped.

For Ed, unfortunately it’ something that he can’t really change, so he’s stuck with looking like a spastic rapping during Prime Ministers questions. So if there are any speech therapists out there who believe they can help Mr Miliband, then please get in contact with him, help the poor fella out. If he had that sorted out, he’d be an appealing person to vote for. He really would. If he doesn’t sort it out and still gets to downing street as PM then I’d be mightily impressed, and believe he’d most likely deserve it.

I will not however be pleased to see him dribbling during a speech in front of the whole world.

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