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5 May

I begin to type. I have 26 letters before me. 26 different letters I can press. Sometimes I only use 4 letters, sometimes 7. I shift them. From these letters words are grown. They sprout. Onwards, upwards, sidewards. Roots all forgotten now.

I looked -> other blogs -> fashion -> popular choice -> therefore -> first blog = Fashion

The fashion world today is BIG. I’m talking bigger than any Walmart/Tesco Superstore that you’ve visited (even the Tesco off Slough high street). Now I know you, like myself, are most likely having trouble imagining how big it is. Well let me also tell you that it’s bigger than any football stadium. It’s actually grown to be so big, that you can’t see it. It’s like gravity.

Now if gravity is essentially the same as Fashion, then we find ourselves in a conundrum (not even an exciting countdown one either). You see the thing is….

gravity = 9.81 m/s2

Which means that (ignoring air resistance) an object falling will increase its velocity by 9.81 m/s  (22 mph for you drivers) for each second of its descent.

Thus,  9.81 m/s (32.2 ft/s) after one second, 19.6 m/s (64.4 ft/s) after two seconds, 29.4m/s (96.6ft/s) after three seconds, and so on.

Now, I’m no scientist. But surely that’s an alarming rate of increase. Fashion would not be able to do such a thing. Or would it?
No, it wouldn’t.
But it could.
Or couldn’t. It’s definitely one of these answers though. Which one? Well, I’ll be totally honest and say I’m not sure if anyone actually knows the true answer. It will remain a mystery. Much like what state Mother Teresa’s stench trench was in. If I was a betting man, which I am, I’d have said it probably needed ‘a short back and sides,’ but was no way near as smelly as was rumoured.

If you have taken the time out of your day to read this and have subsequently regretted wasting the 2 minutes it took to read, then I say. Fuck you. For a start, 2 minutes!? This shouldn’t take you a second over 1 minute, 40 secs.  If you’ve read this in under that time yet have still regretted reading, then… never mind, it was less than 1 minute and 40seconds from your day.


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